Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia cause much more than just memory loss. People living with the disease can also experience changes in personality and behaviors, mood swings, and communication.
As a care partner, it can be hard not to take these changes personally. But it’s important to recognize they are happening because of physiological changes in the brain. The person you are caring for can’t control this – but you can control your reaction to it.
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When you are confronted with a tough situation, it’s important to listen for the intention behind their actions, not just the words they are saying.
For example, your mother may suddenly become resistant to taking showers, even though she used to shower every day. Rather than focusing on her anger, think about where this resistance may be coming from. Is she scared of falling? Or perhaps she’s trying to protect her modesty? Experiment and make some thoughtful changes such as installing a shower bar or getting her a fluffy robe and see if that makes a difference.
We’ve put together some practical tips to help dementia care partners prevent or redirect anger, frustration, and fighting:
1. Keep things simple
- Try to match tasks and what you expect with what your person can do.
- Keep your home quiet and calm when you can.
- Speak slowly and try not to say too much at one time
2. Make a change
- Lead your person to a different room.
- Offer to watch a TV show or listen to music.
- Ask a question about a topic your person enjoys.
- Offer a treat like a cookie or some ice cream.
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3. Be safe
- Remove or lock away all weapons (guns, knives, etc.)
- Back away slowly if the behavior is scary.
- Call 911 if you are afraid for your safety or the safety of others.
For more information and free support, call Alzheimer’s San Diego at 858.492.4400. Our Clinical Care Coaches are here to help!
