Written by Ellen Boucher, BSW / Support Group Specialist
There is a saying about “the straw broke the camel’s back,” which is a feeling most care partners experience – “I do not know if I can handle one more thing!” Support groups help to lighten the load of the “straws” they carry in diverse ways:
- Care partners can say whatever they need to get out of their mind and off their chest in a safe space.
- Care partners can feel “heard” and validated by others who understand the reality of caring for someone living with dementia.
- Care partners can ask for suggestions or may just state that they only want to say things aloud at the meeting.
- Care partners can receive suggestions of strategies as well as warnings of what to avoid doing.
- Care partners can participate in a meeting knowing nothing is expected of them – usually the only time in their current situation where that is true.
Here are some statements from care partners about what they gain from support groups:
No Longer Feeling So Alone
“There is so much validation in hearing how hard this is for others. The loss is real, the grief is real.”
“Thank you for making me feel so warmly welcomed and for allowing me to talk about painful subjects that there is no one else to discuss these things with.” (From a 1st time attendee)
“Glad someone else has some of the same issues to deal with.”
Useful Feedback
“I finally made that tough decision we have discussed at the last few meetings. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas – it helped so much to have your input and support!”
“The support from this group is amazing! The resources and information that are shared is useful. It makes a huge difference.”
“It has been so helpful to learn from others who have been down this road.”
“When I don’t know what to do the group always comes up with suggestions.”
Valuable Insights Received
“I cannot lose myself in caregiving – I matter, too.”
“Separate what is happening from the truth.”
“Knowing what you can and can’t control.”
“You have to be deliberate with awareness.”
“I am learning this is an opportunity for growth instead of failure.”
“Do not feel guilty to accept help.”
Being Supported by the Group
“When I first came to this group I felt like I came out of a storm and entered a warm cabin and was handed a cup of hot cocoa. This group is essential to my life and I could not get through this without you.”
“You all don’t second-guess my decisions like my family and friends do.”
“I can’t believe I have let myself miss so many support group meetings – tonight has made such a difference in how I feel!”
“I have been attending this group for over six years and am constantly walking away with new ideas.”
“I hope it’s okay I invited other family to join this group because this group has made such a difference in my life.”
“We are all so in sync in this group supporting each other.”
Feeling Gratitude
“Thanks to each and every one of you – you make a difference whenever I think of you.”
“Thank you for the warm welcome – I have found a refuge from my world.”
“Thank God for you and your organization and this support group!”
“No one lets me cry or be sad except for you.”
“This group is a lifesaver!”
To see which group is right for you and discuss all of our free options, call us at 858.492.4400 to speak with one of our dementia experts who are here to help San Diego County residents and/or those caring for someone living in San Diego County (Spanish speakers available) or view our list of support groups. Also check out our free education classes, social activities, & more.
RECOMMENDED: Talking About Difficult Topics in Support Groups
Posted on January 27th, 2025
