Clinical Care Coach Corner: Written by Alison Hranek, MSW
It may be near impossible to go to any store during this time of year and not be reminded that the holidays are approaching. There are varying types of feelings that come up during this time of year. It can be joyous as much as it’s stressful. It can be slower for some as much as it’s busy for others. Some of us have our traditions or perhaps we just want to get through this time of year as fast as we can. Whichever way the holiday season makes you feel, it’s okay. One common way that many people feel during the holiday season is lonely. Holiday traditions evolve as we age and as our family’s change or grow apart. The home feels more quiet and lonely after a loved one has passed. Many of the care partners we help are caring for someone living with memory changes. For those families, the holidays will require some coordination. The changes that happen in life require adapting. Let’s talk about ways to come out of that loneliness and make a plan for a connected and more uplifting holiday season.
As a caregiver, there are ways to plan ahead to alleviate some stress. The most important thing to keep in mind is that you can and should ask for help. Doing this is not always easy for some people, and takes some getting used to. At first it can be uncomfortable to have that conversation. If you are caring for someone, consider asking friends, family, neighbors, or even volunteers from a companion program to provide you some respite over this holiday season. There are many ways to repay favors and there are benefits for you and the person you’re caring for to have this respite take place. Asking for help can allow you to do things or connect with people that provide you joy.
Secondly, plan ahead for what you’ll be doing on the specific days you know you don’t want to be alone. For example, if this year your family is getting together in a large gathering, and you know that the person you’re caring for gets overwhelmed with large groups of people, make a plan for both needs to be met. Is there a spare room where your person can decompress from the crowd? Is there a way for them to stay home safely so that you can still socialize without worry? Make a plan with people you trust to help balance both of your needs. Your needs matter. Remember that you can’t be the best version of yourself as a caregiver if your needs aren’t being met.
Lastly, consider talking to someone who understands your situation. That can look like one-on-one talk therapy, a support group, walking with a friend, or even talking to one of our Clinical Care Coaches at our office. We can brainstorm ways to make this holiday season better for you and your family. If this is the first season without a loved one, that empty chair can be heavy to handle. Consider honoring your person by making a plan for you to have the support you need during this holiday season. View our free services and call us at 858.492.4400 for direct help.
Our “Clinical Care Coach Corner” series is where our team of dementia experts weigh in on unique topics and provide insight that can help people impacted by dementia.
